Ops! I might be an ass..

Sunday I got to have dinner with Parm.  It was so great to see her.  Mark made an amazing dinner and we had wine from the 100 Acre vineyard.  I had lamb for the first time.  It was amazing and I think it was the most expensive wine I had ever had.  The table was beautiful.

Today I was excited to get to Denver for a job interview.  But I f*ed up.  I ended up at the airport about a month early. The flight today was full so I bought a ticket for tomorow; it ruined a lot of plans.  So after bawling for a bit,  I went out and bought my mom a Ms. Klaus wig for the Christmas costume party we are having on the 20th.  Then I applied for more jobs like 14 or so more.  My brother was awesome; he kept driving me back and forth to the airport.  I felt like an asshole all day since I have a ticket to visit .  Finding a job is hard and continues to make me feel icky.

I yoga-ed this morning.  It was disgusting; super sweaty and HOT.  Transitions are still not pleasant.  But I love the feeling when I am pretty sure I will die but then I don’t.  I think because I have been feeling like that a lot lately.  I even showed Mark my headstand.

All my love-


Eat Lemons

Been a nice weekend and I got some time off from applying for jobs.  Friday night we went to a Suns game.  There mascott is weird – its a gorilla.  Where I was reminded that relationships generally don’t need 3rd party witnesses.  Saturday was full of errands to include getting a costume for an upcoming holiday party.  Then we headed to John’s Christmas party.  We meet a couple of really nice people. Plus a really not nice lady.  She asked what I did for a living and when I said that I was unemployed she looked like she just ate a lemon.  People’s response to the news that you are unemployed is pretty freaking funny.  It usually runs the gamut from horror to jealousy to admiration.  On Thursday, I was told that I was brave since I traveled over this last year.  While some bravery might have been needed, true courage is continuing to practice the changes I implemented years ago.  That is a much harder task.  We then got to see the VERY end of a hockey game.  I have really missed hockey.  Today I get to have dinner with my Phoenix friend Parm and her hubbie.

All my love-

383 Us at the Suns Game…

IMG_20141213_205911883  Us at the Coyotes Game..

Not Earth Shattering

It’s late so no big or earth shattering writing today.  2 phone screens, 1 yoga class, cooking dinner, countless thank you notes and a meet-up group.  One phone screen ended up with an attempt at scheduling an interview after I had just booked another interview next week.  Meaning – I can’t get anything scheduled prior to the holidays…  :(

I had a phone screen with scheduling questions like define critical path and what are soft restraints.  I wasn’t sure that I was languaging anything very well.  Its been so long since I had to talk like a grown up.  I went to the more advanced yoga class which was just weird with crazy transitions (and an arm balance thrown in for good measure) but I liked the teacher even if I couldn’t hear most of her calls.  I cooked dinner of peas and ham.  It was a recipe from Rao’s — turned out pretty good if I say so myself (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/peas-and-prosciutto-recipe.html?oc=linkback).

I went out for a HH with a new group of gals called the Girls of Madison Grove.  It was lovely and I was a bit awkward.  Oh well!  I guess its practice like everything in life.

I spoke to my family today and it was so great to get caught up.

All my love-



(This didn’t post from yesterday — so here we go again)

So my self-soothing efforts are at full press and I can’t even do any of the stuff that I would like to do to be soothed.  Things that normally help me soothe are stuff like massages, reflexology, cards being read, etc. Its hard trying to make people love you and for every call of interest there is probably something like 8 to 10 no thank you’s.  My ego would desperately like to be stroked and told its pretty.  Its hard to remember the no’s don’t necessarily have anything to do with me personally.  You sit in a house all alone and only talk to people who you are trying to make want you.  Some do and some don’t, if that isn’t real life (you can’t get the ones you like to like you back).  The ones I want to love me have lovely bennies and interesting work.

I took my 1st video interview where I just looked at myself; I have weird tics (which I think might be okay in person).  Phone screened with two blokes (well one bloke and one blokette).  Had one interview for a staffing company with no actual job – just more generating interest.  I yoga-ed and it was GROSS but I loved it.  There was movement and loud music driving out the annoying thoughts.  Yippee – Summits Yoga (even if the flow is really weird).

Got some doctor appointments made and a credit card canceled.  Made calls all day with me needing things from other people – it makes me want to throw up a little.  A friend called and needed something.  Felt good to be needed even if the wasn’t my favorite convo.  Tomorrow I have a meet-group – maybe I can make a friend.  :-)

Anyway to bed I will make my way!!

All my love-


The weird thing about not having a job is it takes so much more discipline than I have on a daily basis; its exhausting.  Discipline to apply, to study, to shower, to not watch TV.  Today – I did okay.  I showered, ate, yoga-ed, returned calls, applied for jobs, and I took 2 quizzes for my PMI continuing education points.

Yoga was HOT and SWEATY but it felt good.  I went to Summits Yoga (http://sumits-yoga.com/biltmore/).  Yoga was nothing good or profound; it was just sweaty enough that after a bit I didn’t notice much else but my breathing.

There were calls — I hate that.  I hate the need and this time its all need on my end — need of a job.  I found a typo on my resume.  There were dates for work at my old company twice.  One said the date that I actually left and the other said present.  I felt like a GIANT ass.   Got an interview tomorow and a couple of phone screens over the next couple of days.  I also signed up for a meet-up group this week and next.  Maybe I will make a friend.

All my love-


Jacob Marley

My day was good.  I slept in and we had breakfast at the Corner restaurant in Westport.  Is was yummy and the waitress was adorable. We got gas and I got dropped off at the airport for more Who.

It’s funny to think about.  All of the people that I love are spread out across the country and I would love to be close to each of them but I can’t for lots of different reasons. I wish I could stay but I can’t.  So onward I hunt for where I go next roaming a bit like Jacob Marley.

I was in the potty at the airport where I got a call from from what I thought was my brother but was in fact a recruiter.  Ops! I will call them back tomorrow.  😄

Mark picked me up and John made us a fabulous dinner.  Mark let me get caught up on Homeland which was sooo good.  Plus more Dr Who… I love Matt Smith.

All my love-


It was a lovely day.  I had breakfast in KC at the Farmhouse ( http://www.eatatthefarmhouse.com). It was great!  I had a kale thing with white beans and a duck egg.

Then John, Mom and I went to a Christmas Carole. It was really cute.  I liked the ghost of Christmas past and present.  The new and improved Scrooge was great (http://www.kcrep.org/shows/2014-2015/a-christmas-carol/).  Christmas can now offically start. It was so great too hang with John and have someone tell mom she should like Dr. Who.

Mom and I had fun at a few shops at the plaza.  Plus dinner at Potbelly.  We watched a movie “This is where I leave you”.  It was a lot of real life and not much fun.

I hope you can all see me in my new clothes soon. So pretty…  Thanks to mom for going with me.  I had a great time.

I got to watch another Dr. Who.  I love the courage to stand-up and do what’s right no matter the cost. And how he makes those people around him better.  Gonna miss it when it’s over again.

All my love-